i been singing sice i was 15 and now im 17dont want to sing with my throat because i get tension in neck while higher notes then i still end up singing with throat but whe i try to relax i still keep end up sinigng with throat ..and its my habit now and i cant get rid of it can anyone help..
You are absolutely right to not want to sing with your throat… if you do this you won't have a particularly long career as a singer anyway as you'll strain your vocal chords and do serious damage to your voice. A good singing teacher should help you to learn how to breathe correctly and I would advise seeking professional help if you can afford it.
The problem really is one of habit. From when we are little children at primary school we are taught that breathing in involves raising the shoulders and chest area. This is thoracic breathing where the air is only filling up part of the lungs. This means that you will not have enough breath to complete long notes, your voice may well sound 'breathy' and as you have observed, your voice will not be supported from the diaphragm. It is the type of breathing used in Pilates. As a singer and Pilates enthusiast I have had to learn both types of breathing.
Diaphragmatic breathing is actually the 'natural' way to breathe. Think about babies. They can howl and scream all night long and not have a sore throat in the morning because they support their voice with their diaphragm. So you have to re-learn how to breathe naturally.
The best way to do this is to lie down and just allow yourself to breathe normally. You should notice your stomach rising and falling, your shoulders won't be going up and down and nor will your chest although there might be a small amount of movement as the air is filling your lungs after all! THIS is the kind of breathing you want to achieve when singing. Try singing a few notes in this position, gently coming DOWN the voice so as not to strain it. Singing teachers will often make their students lie down and observe their breathing in this way. You can then try the same thing but standing up. Place one hand on your stomach and the other on your back at the bottom of the ribs. Breathe in and you should observe both hands move outwards as the lungs expand(the back one only slightly), Your shoulders SHOULD NOT MOVE! You may have to try this several times, remember you are breaking a habit and that takes time.
There is another issue here though and that is the tension that you feel in your neck when attempting high notes. Firstly make sure you warm up properly, always working down the voice using half scales and vowel sounds with rests in between each set to give your voice time to recover. YOu MUST use your diaphragm to reach notes at the top of your range. As you prepare to sing a higher note pull your diaphragm in BEFORE you sing the note to support your voice. If you were to sing a scale from bottom to top you would slowly engage your diaphragm (imagine someone has a belt round your stomach and they're gradually pulling it tighter and tighter) BEFORE you reach the top the belt should be at its tightest ready to support your voice for the higher notes. On the way down keep the diaphragm pulled in.
Don't try and sing notes that are really out of your range. You will find that your range will increase as you practise. Rather than straining the neck aim to relax the throat as you sing higher (it feels like a yawning sensation in the back of the throat). This again takes practice but the voice is an instrument and given your age you could damage it if you use it incorrectly now. As a singer you need to learn to listen to your body.
If you're still awake after all that, I wish you all the best with your singing and hope that some of the above is helpful to you.