So, here we are. The best job I could find here was a part-time music teaching job at a Catholic school w/ no insurance. In addition to, I sub in the afternoons, teach voice lessons, sing weddings, teach dance lessons and sell dancewear online. 4 jobs that don’t amount to a hill of beans. They’re on Medicaid for 3 more months, go to subsidized day care with all the drug dealers kids, and I finally broke down and went to WIC when they started consuming a can of formula a day in addition to my breastfeeding.
My mom begs us not to leave, and I am eternally grateful that she wants us here. She is still very depressed. Most of the time, she is unbearable to live with as she manifests it with anger rather than sadness. Days go by and she cannot say a nice, positive thing about anything or anyone. She interrupts people and always goes on about how horrible her life is. It is starting to drain me. I can’t leave as much as the formula can on the counter, while her stuff is everywhere. This a.m., she put the coffee maker away b4 I even got a chance to use it saying that she couldn’t keep her house clean. I got a Roomba to free up some time, but all she does is complain that it doesn’t do good enough and now feels compelled to vacuum everyday.I still vacuum w/ the regular one at least 2 times a week It is simply a battle of wills. I don’t really live here for free, as I teach dance for her for free in exchange for living here. I pay the water and cable. She is very good not to give unsolicited advice about child-rearing, but I ask alot b/c she has a lot to offer. But it’s the other stupid little things that she constantly has to pick on me about and always has. (Clothes, weight, etc. I think that’s why I fell for their father b/c he accepted me for who I was) I feel more like their loser big sister than their mother and it’s really starting to get to me to the point of totally withdrawing from anyone but them.
I guess my question is: should I find a job elsewhere and move? Vegas is too far now that I’ve come to my senses and due to the economy, they had to cut way back at my previous job, so I’m sure that offer doesn’t still stand) There are plenty of good-paying teaching jobs in bigger cities about 3 hours away. I’d take them to a nice day care, do my 1! job, pick them up and come home. Just seeing that in writing looks so nice. Or I can stay here and wait for something full-time to open up, never be able to afford to live on our own in the meantime, continue to get help from the government, just for the sake of not leaving her or uprooting them.
My dad won’t even co-sign for me on a bigger car as my stroller doesn’t fit in mine, but yet was so thankful that we were here for his birthday the other night. We were the only one’s present. He feels like I need to learn how to live on my own. He’s gotten me 3 presents that I can think of in my entire life while he goes and blows money on condos in foreign countries and other cities. My mom completely supported us and he’d give her food money when he felt like it. I totally understand that he wants me to succeed, BUT I WAS DOING GREAT UNTIL I CAME BACK HERE!!! He is 70 and it won’t be long that he’d going to need someone to take care of him. My other brother won’t come near here, so it’ll be me. I just don’t know about being a single mother of 9 month olds somewhere where I have no one.
I know this jarbled mess, but I just had to get it out. Thanks.
ok, first, there is no need to be ashamed of needing help. Whether it be food stamps, WIC or medical card. I was once on all three before I got on my feet.
You need to put your babies first, them being in such a bad day care and in a house where you are not getting along with your mother is probably not best for them.
I’m not sure if you should move so far away, I can imagine how scary that would be moving somewhere, where you do not know anyone. Is there not a place you could get closer? That way you could still have your family near by?
If you are having trouble finding work in your field have you thought about going back to school while living at your mom’s? That way you will have a place to stay while you further your education and maybe get a better job?
As for your dad, I have one just like that. I just say with him grin and bear it, it doesn’t seem like arguing will do much good.
I was also wondering about your babies’ father? Is he still in the picture? Does he help with the children, such as watching them or paying for their needs?
It made me sad reading that, I really hope you can figure out what is best for you and your children. Good Luck.